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BOOK
REVIEW
By Carol Mintzer
IF I LOVE MY KID ENOUGH,
THE REALITY OF RAISING AN ADOPTED CHILD
By Sara-Jane Hardman and Jean Roe Mauro, LCSW
Although this will not be an easy book for adoptive parents to read, it
is an important one. If I Love My Kid Enough, The Reality of Raising an
Adopted Child tells the story of a girl adopted as an infant and follows
her development thorough her teenage years. Although she is adopted into
a loving, well functioning family that had previously adopted her biological
brother, as early as eight months old she began displaying aggressive
behavior that causes concerns to her parents. As she reached adolescence,
her behavior gets more troubling. Each chapter of the book and of her
life is followed by the evaluation of her therapist, co-author Jean Mauro
with explanations of critical stages of development.
As an adopted (sic) parent I related to many of the challenges this family
faced and learned a great deal about Attachment Disorder as well as gained
insight into the anger and frustration an adoptee often experiences when
growing up.
If I Love My Kid Enough, The Reality of Raising an Adopted Child will
help families understand why their children may be acting the way they
are and learn skill and strategies to help their children become mature
and responsible adults.
While this is not a “glowing” portrait of adoption, it is
a very real situation that can, and does, occur, one that did not occur
with the biological sibling who was also adopted. Most significantly,
the book illustrates the need to take positive action as parents, if necessary
include a therapist familiar with adoption.
The authors are both familiar to the Adoptive Parents Committee, and Jean
Mauro has spoken at a number of APC conferences.
| "This
book will disturb your emotions and thoughts, make you feel sorry
or resentful, agree and disagree with the authors. That's exactly
the process that parents should go through considering an adoption." Boris Gindis, Ph.D. Chief Psychologist, Center for Cognitive-Developmental Assesment and Remediation. |
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>>ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
>>INTRODUCTION
>>1 • JUST ONE STORY
>>2 • BEFORE THE BEGINNING: THE UNEASY WOMB
>>3 • THE FIRST YEAR: FORMING AN ATTACHMENT
>>4 • EARLY SIGNS OF TROUBLE: AGES 1 TO 4
>>5 • ENTERING THE WORLD: THE EARLY SCHOOL YEARS
>>6 • ON THE EDGE: THE MIDDLE SCHOOL YEARS
>>7 • THE NIGHTMARE YEARS: HIGH SCHOOL
>>8 • TACKLING THE PROBLEM: WHAT WORKS
>>9 • EPILOGUE
>>• DEVELOPMENTAL BENCHMARKS
>>• Appendix A OPTIMIZING ATTACHMENT BETWEEN CHILD AND PARENT
>>• Appendix B SELECTING A THERAPIST
>>• Appendix C ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
>>• BIBLIOGRAPHY
>>• ABOUT THE AUTHORS.
Excerpt from the Introduction
"The face of adoption has changed dramatically in the last twenty years. Recent research has uncovered substantial issues that are just now being identified and understood by professionals whose practices have been shaped by the number of challenged adoptive families seeking help. With the popularity of street and designer drugs come hundreds of thousands of babies born with addictions. Some children, having suffered instability and abuse in their lives prior to adoption present another set of problems..." (more excerpts)